Monthly Archives: December 2014
Outside the Flapperhouse – 12.30.2014
As 2014 has been careening through its homestretch, our Flappers have been even more prolific than usual, getting their work published across the internet like there won’t be a 2015.
Jeff Laughlin shared some things he’s learned this year in “The Year I Didn’t Belong” over at Triad City Beat.
Mari Ness’ “Offgrid” popped up at Three-Lobed Burning Eye.
Dusty Wallace’s “Flight of the Lonely” went up at Acidic Fiction.
Samantha Eliot Stier’s “Plugs” was inserted into The Writing Disorder.
Juliet Cook & j/j hastain collaborated on “Clots Push Over the Edge” for the latest issue of Stirring.
Alison McBain’s playfully absurd “Nothing For Sale” was featured at Saturday Night Reader.
Ed Ahern left his “Aftertaste” at New Pop Lit.
Anna Lea Jancewicz’s poem “Black Robin” nested at Spry Lit.
Cassandra de Alba’s poem “Tyra Banks in the Arctic Circle” strutted the runway at Glitter Mob.
Mila Jaroniec joined drDOCTOR for their year-end podcast.
Emily O’Neill’s poem “Proof” was included in the latest edition of Sundog Lit.
Natalia Theodoridou’s “The Ravens’ Sister” perched itself at The Kenyon Review Online.
J.E. Reich wrote about embracing the changing Jewish family for The Jewish Daily Forward.
Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam’s “Sleepers” went up at Fantastic Stories of the Imagination.
Julie C. Day’s “Faerie Medicine,” which initially appeared in FLAPPERHOUSE #2, was reprinted by Luna Station Quarterly.
Pity the Poor Flapper on Christmas Eve!
Flappy Holidays, Friends! Hang those stockings with care.
via Mogadonia
Tonight on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP GREAT AMERICAN NOVELIST – Holiday Edition, 12.23.2014
Because of Christmas, this week’s episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP GREAT AMERICAN NOVELIST, which normally airs every Thursday at 9PM on The Network Channel, instead airs tonight at 10:30. Here’s what’s in store for our Novelistestants on ANTGAN’s Holiday Edition:
- Contestants’ chapters must contain a flashback to a character’s past Holiday Celebration, without obviously being a thinly-veiled retelling of one of the writer’s own crappy Holiday Celebrations
- Vishy wins Immunity, but trades it in a Yankee Swap for a blurb from Gillian Flynn
- Pilantro and Dixelle’s debate about the True Meaning of Christmas results in three overturned tables and a severed earlobe
- Kenson declares “There ain’t no American Christmas novels worth shit,” visibly offending Special Guest Judge John Grisham
Join Our Team!
The quantity & quality of submissions we’ve been receiving has escalated to a point where we’re now looking for additional Editorial Consultants– that is, people to read through several dozen pieces of slush each season & offer unfiltered opinions of several sentences in length. If that sounds like something you’d really want to do (for free), email FLAPPERHOUSE at gmail dot com and tell us why.
Tonight on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP GREAT AMERICAN NOVELIST – 12.11.2014

TV’s #1 writer-based competition program is AMERICA’S NEXT TOP GREAT AMERICAN NOVELIST, airing every Thursday at 9PM on The Network Channel! On tonight’s episode of ANTGAN:
- Contestants’ chapters must be told from the POV of a character binge-watching Season 2 of UNDER THE DOME (Now available on Blu-ray & DVD).
- Squandrelle and Fentworth’s fervent one-night stand leads to messy, pretentious attempts at erotica.
- Alexica wins immunity but loses everyone’s respect when she calls Dan Brown “underrated.”
- Special Guest Judge Thomas Pynchon performs Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” with his armpits.
“Invocation: Joan of Arc Reads the Crowd” – Poetry by Jennifer MacBain-Stephens

“Invocation: Joan of Arc Reads the Crowd” is the first of Jennifer MacBain-Stephens‘ 5 sensational poems on the legendary Maid of Orleans, which you can read in our Winter 2015 issue.
{ X }
SOME MEN DESIRE SAUSAGE NAILED TO BARK just for kicks.
Joan prefers sorting iron deposits to culinary remonstrations.
That’s the true way to heathen caballus hearts.
Never downed a brandy
Talons took her liver in the after-life.
Her face a gossamer sheen of life’s never haves
Like Chrissie Hynde, that brass in pocket left months ago.
Self-hacked curls are racy to ravens.
Joan would rather cut her fingers off than caress a waxen cheek
and it’s all what time should we meet up after the war?
Primp the ocean with a poorly crafted ax swing.
Mouths ravage sound waves.
It’s her voice that mounts the men–
Wingless mongrels with clumsy carbon footprints
I chose you for your pulsing qualities
Wikipedia left that part out.
Arm to stone to crushed ladder leg
Burning hair multitude and it’s 1-0.
Joan thinks about hell and the
Spears secret guts spill out.
Maniacal reds, virgin whites, pink pudding.
Grapefruit spoon in throat
King Charles laughs a little boy laugh
looks down at all the feet.
{ X }
JENNIFER MacBAIN-STEPHENS is the author of three chapbooks: Every Her Dies (ELJ Publications), Clotheshorse (Finishing Line Press, 2014) and Backyard Poems (Dancing Girl Press, forthcoming, 2015). Her work has been nominated for Best of the Net, and has appeared in public places in Iowa City. Recent work can be seen / is forthcoming at Dressing Room Poetry Journal, The Blue Hour, The Golden Walkman,Split Rock Review, Toad Suck Review, Red Savina Review, The Poetry Storehouse, and Hobart. For a complete list of publications and other odds and ends, visit JenniferMacBainStephens.wordpress.com
“The Store” – Fiction by Mari Ness
![By QuentinUK (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://flapperhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/shop_until_you_drop_by_banksy.jpg?w=360&h=360)
With the holiday shopping season in full swing, it’s the perfect time to browse the curious wares in Mari Ness‘ flash fiction “The Store,” from our Winter 2015 issue.
{ X }
THE STORE MOVES AROUND. Sometimes discreetly, sliding in between two other stores; sometimes flamboyantly, planting itself firmly in a previously empty lot, with glowing “GRAND OPENING” signs and flags. In times of economic prosperity, it enjoys nestling in quaint streets dedicated to antique shops and art galleries; during recessions, it often inserts itself into dying strip malls, or leans next to grocery stores and pharmacies.
She never moves. Not that anyone can see, anyway.
She sits at the cash register near the front of the store, a register that seems to change slightly each time the shop moves. It had been one of those old fashioned types, and now sports a computer screen that would put many larger businesses to shame, a screen that seems somehow out of place. Her most noticeable quality: an utter absence of color, with excessively pale skin, nearly as white as paper, white hair, and colorless eyes. Not pink, not pale blue, but literally colorless. The effect might be caused by contact lenses and makeup and bleach, but somehow, few customers ever think this. The eyes move, to watch the customers, and her hands move, to take money and credit cards, but her body never shifts, though she must eat and drink and sleep. She must.
Where she might do this is less certain. Certainly no one has ever seen her eat or drink inside the store, or leave her seat for any reason. Indeed, she gives the impression that she is not just rooted to, but part of her chair, which in turn seems to be part of the floor.
Not that anyone checks too carefully.
What the store sells, it is hard to say. The merchandise shifts whenever the shop moves, and somehow, few customers seem to linger over the items. Ordinary things, knickknacks, and jars of jam, and scented candles, and piles of music and books. Books that when opened tell of Jane killing Mr. Rochester by eating through his neck; where the Heart of Darkness is a river eagerly sucking away at the waters of the jungles, leaving a place of dryness and death ripe for fire; where Alice cuts her wrists with the shards of the looking glass. CDs where no one ever hears the secret chord that David played to please the Lord. Small statues of fairies and angels, their eyes and mouths glued or sewn shut. Brilliantly colored flowers with grey edges that feel cold to the touch. Surprisingly delicious soup mixes, bringing delirious joy when prepared. Jewelry, rich and strange and delicate. Candles labeled with never-known words. Continue reading “The Store” – Fiction by Mari Ness

