Category Archives: Flappertising

“The Virus Shaves Her Legs” – Poetry by Katie Longofono

Woman With Stole – Jean Dupas, 1929

“The Virus Shaves Her Legs” is one of four gritty & enthralling poems by Katie Longofono in our Spring 2018 issue.

{ X }

ITCHING FURIOUSLY TO BE SMOOTH
like every woman
on the subway, she soaks
for 3 hours and sands down
to the skin. The virus is shocked
at how much it bleeds,
like her shins are crying out.
Must take some nerve
to go naked after dressing
with such intention — she grew
a stole at first to repulse
desire, covering herself
in animal skins and furs
lusty for red paint, and kept them
for the luxurious feel. Slick
and wiry, a boar or a mink.
The virus was a crop
of cacti or dragonfruit,
whatever spike goes right
to your head, she was dying
to get under your skin. Now
she takes off the armor,
goes raw and rightfully
invites you, if you want to
come in.

{ X }

KATIE LONGOFONO received her MFA in poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, where she directed the 2014 SLC Poetry Festival. She is the co-founder and co-curator of WEIRDD, an inclusive monthly reading series that honors weird, rigorous poetry with loving kindness, as well as compensation for their art. She also co-produces AmpLit Fest in partnership with Lamprophonic and Summer on the Hudson. She previously co-founded and curated Dead Rabbits Reading Series 2014-17. Longofono is the author of three chapbooks:  Angeltits (Sundress Publications 2016), Honey and Bandages (co-authored with Mary Stone; Folded Word Press 2015), and The Angel of Sex (Dancing Girl Press, 2013). Her work has appeared in The Boiler JournalTinderbox Poetry JournalBOAATglitterMOB, South Dakota Review, Juked, Slipstream, and more. She lives in Brooklyn.

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“If You Water a Horse” – Poetry by Abigail Welhouse

Corncob Horse in Outer Space – Maria Primachenko, 1978

“If You Water a Horse” is one of three exquisitely offbeat poems by Abigail Welhouse in our Spring 2018 issue.

{ X }

IF  YOU  WATER  A  HORSE,
flowers will grow from its spine.
They will die if you pick them. If they live, they will grow
into water lilies as large as goldfish aquariums,
then into beanstalks you will climb to giants.

If you dry off a horse, the desert will give you a message.
You will know when you find sand in your boots.
When you empty them, you will uncover a tree.
The tree is a gift from the giants.

{ X }

photo by Jason Koo

ABIGAIL WELHOUSE is the author of Bad Baby (dancing girl press), Too Many Humans of New York (Bottlecap Press), and Memento Mori (a poem/comic collaboration with Evan Johnston). Her poems have been published in The ToastYes PoetryGhost Ocean Magazine, and elsewhere. Subscribe to her Secret Poems at tinyletter.com/welhouse.

 

FLAPPERHOUSE Reading #21, In Pictures

A billion bouquets of flowery gratitude to everyone who helped make last night’s reading such a glorious gathering: Katie, Laura, Abigail, Gregory, and Gabriela for performing your flappy lits; Alibi Jones for your scintillating singing & photography; Pacific Standard for the ever-gracious hospitality; and all you gorgeous people who came to witness it all…
we’ll see you again sometime in May, perhaps?…

[photos by Alibi Jones]

Katie Longofono shares some of her infectious “Virus” poems

Laura Podolnick Dukhon reads her hilariously hellish story “The Underworld is a Multiverse and All Your Lovers Are Invited”

Abigail Welhouse performs some of her Greatest Hits from Bad Baby

Continue reading FLAPPERHOUSE Reading #21, In Pictures

FLAPPERHOUSE Reading #21 / Issue 17 Flight Party

Join us as we get freaking magical and celebrate the flight of our Spring 2018 issue with our 21st reading! Wednesday, April 4, 2018, 7-9 PM at Brooklyn’s Pacific Standard (82 Fourth Ave).

starring
GREGORY CROSBY
LAURA PODOLNICK DUKHON
GABRIELA GARCIA
ALIBI JONES

KATIE LONGOFONO
ABIGAIL WELHOUSE
(& maybe more?…)

Admission is FREE, and you can buy print copies of FLAPPERHOUSE #17 for the special reading price of $5.

facebook event page here

FLAPPERHOUSE #17 Now on Sale!

Sisterhood, Mysterious Treasure, Fallen Angels, Deviant Afterlives, Slasher Barbies, Poetic Viruses, Baboon Warfare: FLAPPERHOUSE #17.

print copies available for $6US via Amazon
digital (PDF) copies now available for $3US via PayPal

PLEASE NOTE: 
Unfortunately we are currently unable to email PDFs immediately upon order. Delivery of your PDF may take anywhere from several seconds to several hours, but rest assured, we will complete your purchase as soon as humanly possible.
We apologize profusely for any inconvenience or delayed gratification.

“The Golden Key” – Fiction by Carlea Holl-Jensen

illustration by Aubrey Beardsley, circa 1895

For a hint of all the fantastic treasures you can find in our Spring 2018 issue (coming March 20), here’s Carlea Holl-Jensen‘s mysterious & alluring flash fiction “The Golden Key.”

{ X }

IT’S LATE WINTER WHEN HE FINDS THE BOX, winter right on the cusp of spring, that restless stretch when the woods are no longer dark by midday but the frost hasn’t given up its grip on the air.

Of course, it isn’t the box he sees first. That’s still buried under a foot or more of snow.

What he sees, instead, is a crop of new crocuses growing in amongst the trees. He isn’t looking for flowers, doesn’t much care for them. He isn’t sentimental; in fact, he’s about as unsentimental as they come. He once fought in a war and refuses to remember the last time he cried, but it was certainly not while remembering the death of an animal in a movie he watched often as a child. In short, he’s not the type to notice flowers, and he wouldn’t have noticed these flowers at all if the snow weren’t so deep. He’s surprised to see them, these flowers—after all, even late winter isn’t quite spring. The buds haven’t opened yet, and they look to him like the bulbous nipples of tiny baby bottles.

He crouches down to look at the flowers more closely and wonders how they aren’t frozen. He’s pretty cold himself, even though he has on an expensive jacket designed for extreme weather conditions. The flowers don’t seem to feel the cold at all.

Something must be warming them from below, he reasons. He’s extremely logical, this man. He appreciates marching orders and ranks and maps with little pins stuck in them. He keeps schedules, wears a watch set by a satellite, leaves no room for uncertainty or doubt. Faced with this improbable inflorescence, he thinks of hot springs and geothermal vents.

He brushes aside the snow that surrounds these little yellow nubs, and then brushes away some more. Not too deeply buried is a key, the kind that opens coin op lockers in bus stations and public swimming pools.

The flowers have grown up to mark the spot, he thinks, and his having had this thought surprises him even more than the flowers growing there. He feels queasy at the mere idea. He’s not, as I’ve said, a man over given to fancy.

More likely, he tells himself, this key fell from someone’s pocket as they walked along the trail. He feels better once he’s explained this to himself in plain terms.

But the man’s mind, now that it’s started rationalizing, has no intention of stopping. If there is a key, the man finds himself thinking, quite against his will, there must also be a lock.

Continue reading “The Golden Key” – Fiction by Carlea Holl-Jensen

FLAPPERHOUSE – YEAR FOUR Now On Sale!

Now available in soft pulpy paperback via Amazon for $18US: FLAPPERHOUSE – YEAR FOUR, the print anthology of all the surreal, shadowy, sensual, and satirical lit we published in 2017 (including numerous pieces never posted here on our site)…

Including: Killer cinema, mystical soothlayers, manic manifestos, mythical masks, squirrel funerals, wayward wizards, Freddy Krueger, Astronauts, Chrononauts, Bird Bones, Reincarnated Warhol, Clairvoyant Love Triangles, Loony Lighthouse-Keepers, Inescapable Body Horror, Drunken Gods, Chatty Animals, Killer Candymen, Tyrannical Trumps, Jeff Goldblum’s Sick Abs, Radio waves, headless mules, forbidden books, lost cities, dark moon missions, lousy philosophers, Sycorax, Selena, Lizzie Borden, and much much more…