Tag Archives: Jeff Laughlin

“Lunch” – Poetry by Jeff Laughlin

Christ Feeding the Multitude - Artist & Date Unknown
Christ Feeding the Multitude – Artist & Date Unknown

In our Summer 2014 issue (currently available in PDF form for $3 US), our old friend Jeff Laughlin has two viciously funny and deeply incisive poems about poverty & other job-related miseries, excerpted from his fantastic new collection Life and Debt. We’re very flappy to present one of those poems, “Lunch,” below.

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OH WHAT WONDROUS STORIES AWAIT THE MASSES–
oh counterculture, lie down next to each of us
band us together under avarice-torn skies
as we rip to shreds our love of the moment.

This sandwich belies the true ideas of the gods!
Tuna fish! Tuna fish! I hearken to the days when
only seven of you would have fed 5,000 of us.
Now I am still hungry after devouring you whole.

Do you remember when we got an hour? I gave
lunch up for overtime long ago—when the air
was still clean and soda cost fifty cents and oh
when the myth of raises weren’t so horribly stale.

When the old guard still worked here, we drank
all day and cavorted with women all night, but
some of them died and others disappeared, say,
have you heard from them? I miss their candor.

They would never have taken these benefit cuts.
No, they would have painted their faces and boldly
attacked with blind rage! No matters of money or
heart can destroy the will of those ineffable beasts!

Send us the treasonous, venomous lying horde of
office-workers! We’ll crush them, hands wrenching
raw neckbone, blood streaming down our arms, but
I need a ride to the bank first, please, I have overdrawn.

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JarffJEFF  LAUGHLIN writes about the Bobcats Hornets for Creative Loafing Charlotte & about sports in general for Triad City Beat in Greensboro, NC. His 1st book of poetry, Drinking with British Architects, is riddled with mistakes but available free if you want it. His 2nd book is Alcoholics Are Sick People, and If you ask nicely, he’ll probably give that to you too. Contact Jeff on his seldom-used twitter (@beardsinc) or email him (repetitionisfailure @gmail.com). He likely needs a haircut.

Outside the Flapperhouse – 7.2.2014

Here are some writings our beloved Flappers have posted & published around the internet in the past couple weeks:

J. Bradley responded to SCOTUS’ Hobby Lobby decision with his poem “Where the White People Are: Women’s Reproductive Rights” at The New Verse News.

Mila Jaroniec recounted her “Brief History of Blackouts” in an essay for Medium.

Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam‘s short story “Hero” appeared yesterday at Daily Science Fiction.  UPDATE: Bonnie also had a story go up at Hobart last week, the amazingly-titled “The Stink of Horses: Excerpts From The Marina Golovina Controversy By the Ballet Book Series.”

Jeff Laughlin coped with a metaphysical hangover in his Hunter S. Thompson-esque “A Night Without Peace at Bowman Gray” over at Triad City Beat.

J.E. Reich‘s “Breakers” (from our current issue) was read aloud on last week’s broadcast of Mr. Bear’s Violet Hour Saloon, and it was also reposted at Medium under the title “Teasing it Open.”

Rebecca Ann Jordan‘s magical realist tale “This Is No Garden” was recently published at Swamp Biscuits and Tea.

Tom Stephan posted the very creepy “A Summertime Tale” last week. We’re not sure if it’s a true story or not, and we’re too scared to ask him for the answer.

FLAPPERHOUSE #2 is Now on Sale!

FLAPPERHOUSE #2 is no longer for sale– because it’s now available for free!
Just click the cover to read.

FLAPPERHOUSESummerCoverNova

including

“The Heartless Boy”Ed Ahern
“The fallow months,” “What’s cooking” – Daniel Ari
“Faerie Medicine” – Julie Day
“San Vicente”Robin Wyatt Dunn
“Lemon Lane” – Foust
“Boko”John Grey
“The Virgin”Dylan Jackson
“The Workaday World,” “Lunch” Jeff Laughlin
“One of those women” – Aoibheann McCann
“Waning & Waiting,” “Erotics of Silence”Lonnie Monka
“Still Shooting” – Todd Pate
“Birdy Told Me” – Frederick Pollack
“Breakers”J.E. Reich
“The New Mother” – Judith Skillman
“Scars”Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam
“Other Side of the Fence”Anna Tizard
“Hypothetical Foundations of a Quantum Theory of Familial Social Physics”
Joseph Tomaras

“What Really Drives You To Drink” – Poetry by Jeff Laughlin

The Drunkard's Progress, Nathaniel Currier, 1846
The Drunkard’s Progress, Nathaniel Currier, 1846

Much like literature’s most famous chronicler of the Flapper Age, Jeff Laughlin has quite a flair for zeitgeist-capture. In his poem “What Really Drives You To Drink,” Jeff examines the darkness and sadness that plague us– drinkers and teetotalers alike– and he does it with great elegance and wit. You can read this poem along with other fine lit in our Spring 2014 Issue, now on sale for just $3.

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I.
OF COURSE, WE ALL WANT REVOLUTIONS
with piano loops playing behind us
driving us to the light of salvation.

We all want the moments of dreams,
caricatures of our destinies; we want
model-sizes of us writhing against evil.

Yes, we ache for sustenance beyond
substances, data ahead of information,
a wealth of armies, breaching battalions.

We want the lines between injustices
ruptured, to rip thousands of tears in our
oblivious brain-skin and sensibilities.

We want to be buried in beautiful
graves, our thoughts and actions resting
non-anonymously but not autonomic.

Above us, floating, are the souls of everlasting
life, their bombastic screams louder than
the empty bottles they hurl at us blithely.

Just out of reach, the albatross, the overt
and countercultural masses; all that lays
here is middle-ground, pain, and sincerity.

Here is intransigence, where we are.

Continue reading “What Really Drives You To Drink” – Poetry by Jeff Laughlin

FLAPPERHOUSE #1 Now On Sale

 UPDATE:

The PDF of FLAPPERHOUSE #1 is no longer for sale, because it is now available for free.
Click the cover to enjoy.

FLAPPERHOUSEwhitecover

{ X } including { X }

“No More Poems About Resolutions,” “A Highly Magnified History,” “When A Poet Wants To Date You,” and “Yelp Review – Total Wine”J. Bradley
CRYONICS”Mariev Finnegan
“The Puddle of Romeo’s Tears”Luis Galindo
“The Thrill of a Lifetime” – Phyllis Green
“Window Glass” – Mila Jaroniec
“Stage Manager” – Rebecca Ann Jordan
“What Really Drives You To Drink” – Jeff Laughlin
“Rebel, Rebel” – T. Mazzara
“The Root of Everything Arty” – Jenean McBrearty
“Stanley Kubrick’s Shit Happens – Joseph P. O’Brien
“The Better Cowboy” – Todd Pate
“Angels Howling in the Trees” – Misti Rainwater-Lites
“Dare” – Lauren Seligman
“Rules and Secrets” Judith Skillman
“Reach” – Tom Stephan
“Axis Mundi” Cameron Suey

The FLAPPERHOUSE Bathroom Library

Here at FLAPPERHOUSE, we believe that Reading Is Fundamental, and few kinds of reading are more fundamental than Bathroom Reading. When you consider that the average person spends over 90 hours per year using the bathroom, it’s not surprising to learn that those who have chosen to spend much of that time with books have contributed a great deal to the cultural history of humankind.

That’s why we were so alarmed to learn from Factual Science Magazine how Bathroom Reading has declined over 72% since 2009. (Thanks again for devolving the culture, SmartPhones!) And as a result, we’ve decided to make it our mission to resurrect this dying pastime.

This mission will, of course, be an ongoing affair, so for now we’d simply like to start by sharing the contents of FLAPPERHOUSE‘s own Bathroom Library:

FLAPPERHOUSE Bathroom Library

Clockwise from top left: Modesty Blaise by Peter O’Donnell; Peepshow: 1950s Pin-Ups In 3D, edited by Melcher Media, with Introduction by Bunny Yeager; Magritte: Thought Rendered Visible by Marcel Paquet; Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters; Drinking With British Architects: Poems by Jeff Laughlin

So, friends of FLAPPERHOUSE, do any of you have your own Bathroom Libraries at home? Let us know, and help us spread the word that Bathroom Reading Is One Of The Most Fundamental Kinds Of Reading There Is!

Interview With The FLAPPERHOUSE

RroseSelavyInterviewer: FLAPPERHOUSE has described itself as “Dragging the future back through the past, like a rotting donkey on a grand piano.”

FLAPPERHOUSE: Chien! Andalusia! We are un!

Interviewer: Precisely. And by “the past,” more specifically you mean circa the 1920’s?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes and no. Mostly yes. We do think the future should have much more futurism. But with much less fascism. We’d also like to see more surrealism, expressionism, dadaism, psychological horror, and, of course, modernism.

Interviewer: Post-modernism?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Is punk rock post-modern?

Interviewer: Is that a rhetorical question?

FLAPPERHOUSE: It wasn’t meant to be, but we’ll answer it anyway. Punk rock is kind of post-modern, right?

Interviewer:

FLAPPERHOUSE: Right. So we want to see post-modernism as long as it’s punk rock.

Interviewer: Punk rock is more of a 1970’s thing.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Technically, yes. But the 20’s were punk rock too.

Interviewer: I see. So who are some of the writers in the FLAPPERHOUSE family?

FLAPPERHOUSE:  They’re writers you should know, but probably don’t yet. They’re very good.

Interviewer: Like George Saunders?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes, like George Saunders, if you didn’t know him yet. We don’t have George Saunders though. We do have Todd Pate. He calls himself a “hobo journalist.” A real American vagabond. Like a 21st-Century Kerouac, only sober.

Interviewer: Kerouac was more of a 50’s guy than a 20’s guy.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes but he was born in the ’20s.

Interviewer: Touché.

FLAPPERHOUSE: In our Spring 2014 issue we’re gonna publish a story Todd wrote called “The Better Cowboy,” a mix of American mythology and psych-horror. A sexy, bad-ass, bastard spawn of Cormac McCarthy & HP Lovecraft. Once we’re done editing it we’ll run an enticing excerpt on our website.

Interviewer: My blood’s tingling already. Who else you got?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Jeff Laughlin. He’s a writer and musician living in Greensboro, North Carolina. Writes for YES! Weekly, Creative Loafing Charlotte, and The Awl.

Interviewer: I know The Awl!

FLAPPERHOUSE: Jeff wrote their obituaries for Leslie Nielsen and David Markson, among other things.

Interviewer: I remember those obituaries! Two of the best obituaries I ever read.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Damn right they were. Well, Jeff’s also a fantastic poet, and our Spring ’14 issue will feature work from his collection Alcoholics Are Sick People. It’s a dark yet tender exploration of the forces that drive us to drink. It’s also kinda funny sometimes.

Interviewer: Sounds poignant.

FLAPPERHOUSE: It is. Touching, even.

Interviewer: Indeed. Any more FLAPPERHOUSE writers you can tell us about?

FLAPPERHOUSE: We’ve heard rumors that we may publish a brand new tale by Cameron Suey, a rising star in horror and dark fantasy fiction.

Interviewer: Rising where?

FLAPPERHOUSE: All over. In the past couple years his stories have appeared in Pseudopod, No Monsters Allowed, Mad Scientist Journal, and in anthologies published by Hazardous Press and Cruentus Libri.

Interviewer: My, how prolific.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Dude’s like the next Stephen King, but with much tighter prose.

Interviewer: And that’s all?

FLAPPERHOUSE: What do you mean, “That’s all?” That was intended as very high praise.

Interviewer: I meant, is that all the writers you can tell us about for now?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Oh yes, that’s correct.

Interviewer: You know for a magazine called FLAPPERHOUSE you don’t seem to have a lot of women on board. Or any.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yeah we know. We’re working on it.