Category Archives: Interviews

FLAPPERHOUSE Podcast #1 + an Excerpt from “The Wendigo Goes Home” – Fiction by Sara Dobie Bauer

If you haven’t already heard, the very first FLAPPERHOUSE Podcast has taken to the air! This 30-minute episode features an interview with the incomparable Sara Dobie Bauer, where she reads an excerpt from “The Wendigo Goes Home,” her contribution to our Winter 2016 issue. The podcast is below, and the text of the excerpt is below that, if you’d care to read along…

{ X }

CLEVE PACKER PRIDED HIMSELF ON EATING ONLY PEOPLE WHO WERE ABOUT TO DIE. Over his hundred and fifty years of cannibalism, he’d evolved not only his senses but his morality.

While traveling through northern Ohio, he smelled death on a large young woman with blond hair and expensive shoes. The scent was subtle. She wasn’t the one dying, but someone close to her. Cleve approached and made conversation at the local coffee shop. She was happy to oblige, Cleve looking so tall and handsome in his best brown suit.

Her name was Bree Shepherd, the manager of a high-end clothing store in Cleveland, single but looking. She liked to talk about herself, her family. Her mother was going through some sort of aging crisis, embracing hot yoga and spin at her local gym. Bree said she even suspected her mother of shopping in the juniors section at JC Penney, all in an effort to “stay young forever.” Her dad was a retired lawyer who now spent most of his time reading murder mysteries and pretending he would one day write a novel. There was the elder sister, Bianca, who was married with three children. Bree talked most about her little brother: poor Blake, the “hopeless homosexual”—perpetually single, despite his good looks and pleasant, albeit quiet, demeanor. She said he studied science at the nearby university.

Cleve was careful to say very little about himself, other than that he was new in town. He was always new in town.

After a refill, Bree invited him for a late summer bonfire at her parents’ house where there would be extended family and friends, and “Oh, won’t it be nice for you to meet new people in your new city!”

When they parted, she waved and carried the smell of death down a sidewalk lined with leafy trees at full tilt August green. In her absence, the air smelled of coffee grounds and oil from nearby leaking cars.

The sick person could be anyone, really, but Cleve suspected he would meet that person if he stuck close to cheerful Bree Shepherd. Perhaps at the bonfire, filled, she said, with so many family and friends.

It had been weeks since his last feast; nothing satisfactory, just an old woman in a lonely house that smelled of dishwasher soap and Band-Aids. He preferred younger meat. In the early 1900s, there were all sorts of diseases that sprung up and took people by the dozens. Such a holiday, back then! But such feasts were rare nowadays, with advances in medicine and preventative treatment. Still, there was hope for the bonfire—hope for a good, hot meal.

Continue reading FLAPPERHOUSE Podcast #1 + an Excerpt from “The Wendigo Goes Home” – Fiction by Sara Dobie Bauer

Six Questions For FLAPPERHOUSE

Jim Harrington of Six Questions For… recently asked our managing editor some stuff about our origins & our preferences to help give readers & writers a better idea of what we’re looking to publish in our weird little zine. Check it out if you’d care to read about how David Lynch & Transcendental Meditation led to our inception, why you won’t often see 2nd-person narratives in our pages, and the true meaning of flappiness.

…I read David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish, and after a few weeks of practicing what I’d read in the book, FLAPPERHOUSE came to me & told me it would help relieve much of my disturbance—it would help me amass a freaky chorus of bold literary voices to sing together in the kind of genre-fluid, sanctimony-free space I’d seen too rarely in literature, and it would provide for me the kind of personal & creative fulfillment I’d been lacking for far too long. And so it has…

Six Questions for Joseph P. O’Brien, Managing Editor, FLAPPERHOUSE

“Exit Interview” – Poetry by E.H. Brogan

Dancers – Franz Stuck, 1896

The questions and answers in E.H. Brogan‘s “Exit Interview” are unlike any exit interviews we’ve ever had, but that’s why we love it. It’s one of two very flappy poems E.H. contributed to our Summer 2015 issue, now available via Amazon and Createspace, or at independent brick-and-mortar stores like Bluestockings and St. Mark’s Bookshop. And if you’d like to hear a recording of E.H. reading this poem, click the Soundcloud player below the text!

{ X }

A joke, but all it does is cry.
It’s the distant mountains
that you hear, laughing.
Q. What is like a raisin except
too large to enter a mouth?
It is where the letter went,
and not unlike a glove.
Pluck it shriveled from the tree,
sew its long sides up.
Q. If I asked tequila once again
I’d lose it in the waterfall.
This is as it was before. I admit
I bombed the dam.
Last time I swore you not again.
You haven’t tried that pony out,
the chestnut to the race.
Q. Would you dance with me once more?

{ X }

image1E.H. BROGAN is a graduate of the University of Delaware with a B.A. in English. She has poetry in or forthcoming from Star*Line, Cider Press ReviewBop Dead City, and others. She blog-runs and co-curates for Kenning Journal. Her house is built of books. Tweet @wheresmsbrogan for more.

Interview With the Database

ImagedatabaseWe’re still a few months too young to be interviewed by the Big Literary Submission Database, but if we were old enough, our answers would be:

  1. Dark weird sexy funny lit
  2. The Straddler, The Alarmist, Gigantic Sequins.
  3. Kurt Vonnegut, Dorothy Parker, Jorge Luis Borges, Flannery O’Connor, Franz Kafka, Ishmael Reed, Kelly Link, Roald Dahl, Stanley Kubrick, Tina Fey, Bill Watterson, Robert Anton Wilson, Haruki Murakami, George Saunders, Tom Robbins, Emily Dickinson, Hunter S. Thompson, Louis CK, Gillian Flynn, Neil Gaiman, Junot Diaz, Octavia Butler, Amy Hempel, Richard Brautigan, Karen Russell, MF Doom, Virginia Woolf
  4. While we enjoy & admire & draw inspiration from other literary publications, our biggest influence is probably HBO.
  5. Poets: Send us your best rhyming poetry, and your chances of being published in our zine will increase. We receive practically zero rhyming poems, because it seems that modern poets think end rhyme is only slightly less disgusting than subway masturbation. But we love good rhyming poetry, and wish we got a lot more of it in our inbox.
    Prosers: Send us your best review of an imaginary work, a la Borges’ “Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote,” and your chances of being published in our zine will increase. Real books/ films/ albums/ etc. are great, but imaginary books/ films/ albums/ etc. don’t get nearly enough critical attention, if you ask us.
  6. Our ideal submission can be described by at least one of the following adjectives: surreal, shadowy, sensual, satirical. It throbs with life and wit and colorful details. It exudes tantalizing ambiguity, but the writing itself is clear and precise– not too flowery, yet not pedestrian either. It drags the future back through the past like a rotting donkey on a grand piano.
  7. Pretty much all of our submitters seem like cool people who’ve read our guidelines and have a fair idea of what kind of lit we want. But sometimes writers will get excessively cutesy in their cover letters, which doesn’t exactly go against our guidelines, but it’s “wrong” in the sense that it’s wrong for writers to assume that excessively cutesy cover letters will make their work more endearing to us. And because the number of submissions has been increasing lately, we’ve been kindly asking submitters of declined work to wait about 2 months before submitting again. When such writers then send us more work a week or so later, we tend to get a little cranky. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the enthusiasm; it’s just that for now, we only have so much time and so many eyeballs to read submissions.
  8. We don’t mind receiving bios from submitters, but we try not to read them before we read the submission. Then after we read someone’s bio, if we think they seem particularly interesting, we might google them to learn more. Of course, what we learn about a submitter doesn’t really influence our decision to accept or decline their work, but it might influence us to follow them on Twitter.
  9. We read every submission from beginning to end at least twice, unless the work is splattered with careless errors and lazy writing, in which case we’ll only read it once.
  10. We’ll do our best to make sure a piece hasn’t already been published before we accept it. We forgot to do that once, and later found out some poetry we accepted had already been posted online. We let it slide that one time, but it’s haunted us ever since.
  11. Obsession, rejection, depression, meditation, elation, intoxication, relaxation, titillation, exhaustion.
  12. We embrace modern technologies lovingly, tenderly, yet with a touch of restraint, like an old flame we’re still very good friends with.

Interview With The FLAPPERHOUSE

RroseSelavyInterviewer: FLAPPERHOUSE has described itself as “Dragging the future back through the past, like a rotting donkey on a grand piano.”

FLAPPERHOUSE: Chien! Andalusia! We are un!

Interviewer: Precisely. And by “the past,” more specifically you mean circa the 1920’s?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes and no. Mostly yes. We do think the future should have much more futurism. But with much less fascism. We’d also like to see more surrealism, expressionism, dadaism, psychological horror, and, of course, modernism.

Interviewer: Post-modernism?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Is punk rock post-modern?

Interviewer: Is that a rhetorical question?

FLAPPERHOUSE: It wasn’t meant to be, but we’ll answer it anyway. Punk rock is kind of post-modern, right?


FLAPPERHOUSE: Right. So we want to see post-modernism as long as it’s punk rock.

Interviewer: Punk rock is more of a 1970’s thing.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Technically, yes. But the 20’s were punk rock too.

Interviewer: I see. So who are some of the writers in the FLAPPERHOUSE family?

FLAPPERHOUSE:  They’re writers you should know, but probably don’t yet. They’re very good.

Interviewer: Like George Saunders?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes, like George Saunders, if you didn’t know him yet. We don’t have George Saunders though. We do have Todd Pate. He calls himself a “hobo journalist.” A real American vagabond. Like a 21st-Century Kerouac, only sober.

Interviewer: Kerouac was more of a 50’s guy than a 20’s guy.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yes but he was born in the ’20s.

Interviewer: Touché.

FLAPPERHOUSE: In our Spring 2014 issue we’re gonna publish a story Todd wrote called “The Better Cowboy,” a mix of American mythology and psych-horror. A sexy, bad-ass, bastard spawn of Cormac McCarthy & HP Lovecraft. Once we’re done editing it we’ll run an enticing excerpt on our website.

Interviewer: My blood’s tingling already. Who else you got?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Jeff Laughlin. He’s a writer and musician living in Greensboro, North Carolina. Writes for YES! Weekly, Creative Loafing Charlotte, and The Awl.

Interviewer: I know The Awl!

FLAPPERHOUSE: Jeff wrote their obituaries for Leslie Nielsen and David Markson, among other things.

Interviewer: I remember those obituaries! Two of the best obituaries I ever read.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Damn right they were. Well, Jeff’s also a fantastic poet, and our Spring ’14 issue will feature work from his collection Alcoholics Are Sick People. It’s a dark yet tender exploration of the forces that drive us to drink. It’s also kinda funny sometimes.

Interviewer: Sounds poignant.

FLAPPERHOUSE: It is. Touching, even.

Interviewer: Indeed. Any more FLAPPERHOUSE writers you can tell us about?

FLAPPERHOUSE: We’ve heard rumors that we may publish a brand new tale by Cameron Suey, a rising star in horror and dark fantasy fiction.

Interviewer: Rising where?

FLAPPERHOUSE: All over. In the past couple years his stories have appeared in Pseudopod, No Monsters Allowed, Mad Scientist Journal, and in anthologies published by Hazardous Press and Cruentus Libri.

Interviewer: My, how prolific.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Dude’s like the next Stephen King, but with much tighter prose.

Interviewer: And that’s all?

FLAPPERHOUSE: What do you mean, “That’s all?” That was intended as very high praise.

Interviewer: I meant, is that all the writers you can tell us about for now?

FLAPPERHOUSE: Oh yes, that’s correct.

Interviewer: You know for a magazine called FLAPPERHOUSE you don’t seem to have a lot of women on board. Or any.

FLAPPERHOUSE: Yeah we know. We’re working on it.